• I saw a lady in the mall using her "hands free" phone. She had tucked the phone into the space between her hijab and her ear, thus freeing her hands to do as they please. The stretchy head covering many women around here wear under their hijab holds it nice and tight.
• I'm reading up on this whole kettlebell workout thing. Just like every other newfangled system, it claims to give super fast wonderful results. Only unlike the newfangled stuff, it's thousands of years old and feels like playing while you're doing it.
I have people in my life who love accounting. These people are not only interested in it, they are fascinated by it. Can you believe this crap? What is wrong with these weirdos?
I am not sure I'm going to pass Financial Accounting, or do much more than pass it. The subject is inaccessible to me for some reason. I feel as though there is a cloud between me and it that rises whenever someone starts to talk about accounting. Or that someone turns up a white noise machine and I can't make out what's going on. I am living a nightmare.
Is this what a learning disability feels like?
I have always had trouble learning math. And no, it's not one of those false gender-bias things - I am actually bad at math. I squeaked into University by working extra hard in all other subjects to raise my grade average and remove the dent caused by dismal math scores. I still don't know how I made it through all the chemistry math, or the geometric/trigonometric/blueprint reading math I did in machinist school.
But I did make it.
And I'm still not sure I won't fail Accounting.
December 29 – Defining Moment Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.
Skipping this one for redundancy's sake.
December 30 – Gift Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?
I told everyone not to get me any emotional gifts this year because last year someone bought me Anxiety.
As for material gifts, I like my Kobo so far. Did you know that you can borrow library books for your e-reader?
December 31 – Core Story What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)
OK, this is over and done. These were some weird, repetitive questions. Signing off for now. Belated Happy New Year and Decade to you.
Thinking further about the food question...I did become addicted to bubble tea this year, after hating it with a passion. It was early days in the trend, about 10 years ago, when I first tried it and found it disgusting.
I guess the process has improved, or been brought over from Taiwan in a more authentic way, because now I can't get enough. I go to Tea Fusion in Edmonton City Centre for my junk. I've been uncertain about trying it elsewhere because I'm afraid they will use flavour syrups or powdered tapioca and it won't be as fresh and delicious.
December 26 – Soul Food What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?
I don't have the type of relationship with food that causes it to touch my soul. It's food!
I can't remember any truly ass-over-teakettle food moments this year. I did make sex in a pan for Christmas dessert, which was pretty nice. It's unfortunate that that particular recipe is so dated.
December 27 – Ordinary Joy Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?
Sitting with my husband on our new deck on one Sunday morning, before the asshats get out of bed and start their leaf-blowers and muscle cars. I don't even know how we wound up out there together, since he isn't the type to hang around outside. We were just listening to the breeze and the birds in our PJs.
December 28 – Achieve What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down.
Putting another drop in the educational ocean. I will feel glad not to have to do that part again, and that's about all. There isn't any bliss involved in that.
December 25 – Photo – a present to yourself
Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
Shot by yours truly. What does it reveal? You figure it out.
December 24 – Everything’s OK What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
Wait a minute...everything's going to be OK? Why didn't you say so? How do you know this?? Why were you keeping this information to yourself???
As I sit at my computer in my warm, safe home, watching my rumpled cat stretch and turn over, I can safely say that I have never thought that everything will be OK. Never!
December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead?
I am in the thick of a few things - just getting through mid-life stuff like renovating the house and upgrading my education. I plan to keep my head down and push toward the goals ahead - but my future self asks me to stop and smell the flowers once in a while.
December 22 – Travel How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
We went to Las Vegas in January, and had a really good time. With the exception of our flights, which are always miserable, it was a perfect vacation. We liked it so much that we plan to drive to Las Vegas in the spring of 2011 and come back up the Pacific Coast Highway in our shiny sports car.
December 23 – New Name Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?
Why would I want to do that? My imagination's not up to this stuff today. OK...how about Sharleen Spiteri, the singer from Texas who recently struck out on her own? I've always been jealous of her beauty, brains and talent. You're not supposed to get all three, are you?
December 17 – Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
It's something I keep on learning: That you must come out of your own shell. If you don't raise your hand and speak up, nothing important will ever be said by you. I watched this great TED talk on why there aren't more women leaders and I was nodding along the entire time.
December 18 – Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?
A friend of mine once told me that she was amazed by my fearlessness. She noticed that I would shrug and take on any task, no matter how ridiculous or intimidating, and if I failed, it didn't seem to be the end of the world. Of course she only sees me from the outside - on the inside, I am kicking myself in the ass every moment and chickening out a million times. But I have learned to give the negative self-talk little importance when the chips are down!
Again, I am doing something I am intimidated by next year (Financial Accounting). I am going to try and not listen to my negative self-lecture about that.
December 19 – Healing.
What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
Huh? Um...what healed me? Well, I always say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But Mr. W and I went for physicals this year as a part of preparing to join the gym. I am disgusted to report that, in spite of all his unhealthy habits, Mr. W is healthy as a horse, whereas I, the careful one, have to watch my shit. But it was nice to see that we are basically fairly healthy at a certain age.
December 20 – Beyond Avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
What kind of people do they think are answering these questions? A bunch of super busy scaredy cats? People not "living" their "authentic" "lives"? I think these guys watch too much Oprah.
The one thing I didn't do enough was garden. By the time the season rolled around, I was back at work and too busy. But I should've taken a half-hour to weed and water in the evenings so I could enjoy it more. I know I won't have much time to do it this year either, between school and work. I do miss it.