Crappy Customer Service

What's Taking Up Your Head Space?

I have people in my life who love accounting.  These people are not only interested in it, they are fascinated by it.  Can you believe this crap? What is wrong with these weirdos?

I am not sure I'm going to pass Financial Accounting, or do much more than pass it.  The subject is inaccessible to me for some reason.  I feel as though there is a cloud between me and it that rises whenever someone starts to talk about accounting.  Or that someone turns up a white noise machine and I can't make out what's going on.  I am living a nightmare.

Is this what a learning disability feels like?

I have always had trouble learning math.  And no, it's not one of those false gender-bias things - I am actually bad at math.  I squeaked into University by working extra hard in all other subjects to raise my grade average and remove the dent caused by dismal math scores.  I still don't know how I made it through all the chemistry math, or the geometric/trigonometric/blueprint reading math I did in machinist school.

But I did make it.

And I'm still not sure I won't fail Accounting.

Nose To the Grindstone.

December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead?

I am in the thick of a few things - just getting through mid-life stuff like renovating the house and upgrading my education.  I plan to keep my head down and push toward the goals ahead - but my future self asks me to stop and smell the flowers once in a while.

December 22 – Travel How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

We went to Las Vegas in January, and had a really good time.  With the exception of our flights, which are always miserable, it was a perfect vacation.  We liked it so much that we plan to drive to Las Vegas in the spring of 2011 and come back up the Pacific Coast Highway in our shiny sports car.

December 23 – New Name Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

Why would I want to do that?  My imagination's not up to this stuff today.  OK...how about Sharleen Spiteri, the singer from Texas who recently struck out on her own?  I've always been jealous of her beauty, brains and talent.  You're not supposed to get all three, are you?

Keep Fucking That Chicken!

December 17 – Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

It's something I keep on learning:  That you must come out of your own shell.  If you don't raise your hand and speak up, nothing important will ever be said by you.  I watched this great TED talk on why there aren't more women leaders and I was nodding along the entire time. 

December 18 – Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

A friend of mine once told me that she was amazed by my fearlessness.  She noticed that I would shrug and take on any task, no matter how ridiculous or intimidating, and if I failed, it didn't seem to be the end of the world.  Of course she only sees me from the outside - on the inside, I am kicking myself in the ass every moment and chickening out a million times.  But I have learned to give the negative self-talk little importance when the chips are down! 

Again, I am doing something I am intimidated by next year (Financial Accounting).  I am going to try and not listen to my negative self-lecture about that.

December 19 – Healing.

What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

Huh?  Um...what healed me?  Well, I always say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.  But Mr. W and I went for physicals this year as a part of preparing to join the gym.  I am disgusted to report that, in spite of all his unhealthy habits, Mr. W is healthy as a horse, whereas I, the careful one, have to watch my shit.  But it was nice to see that we are basically fairly healthy at a certain age.

December 20 – Beyond Avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

What kind of people do they think are answering these questions?  A bunch of super busy scaredy cats?  People not "living" their "authentic" "lives"?  I think these guys watch too much Oprah. 

The one thing I didn't do enough was garden.  By the time the season rolled around, I was back at work and too busy.  But I should've taken a half-hour to weed and water in the evenings so I could enjoy it more.  I know I won't have much time to do it this year either, between school and work.  I do miss it.

Mush!

December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

Is it against the spirit of this whole navel-gazing exercise to say Money?  I appreciate Money most?  OK, how about Compensation?

After decades of being underpaid, I am finally making a living wage.  I have my own benefits and a pension.  I work in a place with a wellness program. I can't tell you how happy I am to have wound up here.  I want to say I'm lucky, but my inner voice says that luck plays only a small part.  I clawed my way up from the ground, learned to play by the rules, made mistakes and wasn't afraid to look like a dumbass or change what needed changin'.

Now, in gratitude, I must pass this torch to my husband, who is underpaid and undercompensated for his incredible skills.  It is time for him to change what needs changin'.

'Cause The End Of December Approaches.

December 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

Here's something I hate more than the gym - school!  Anyone who thinks school is fun needs their head examined.  I have a course in Financial Accounting coming up in January that I've been dreading for six months.  Math is not my strong suit and I find that when anyone talks to me about accounting, it turns into static passing my ears.  I understand my role at the beginning of the financial transaction very well, but the other end perplexes me.

Now We're Over the Christmas Hump - Let's Get On With It.

December 12 – Body Integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I'm working on this at the gym.  I am disgusted by how much this is costing me but I am tired of feeling old before my time.  The feeling isn't quite there yet, but there are flashes of it occasionally, when I am working hard and I find that I am not out of breath.

The Complaint Blog Post

This semester I resent the intrusion of school into the rest of my life. Yes, that is correct, i'm taking ONE course that you could probably sleep through, and I'm finding it an unbearable burden. I whine internally without ceasing about it.

What would I be doing with my Tuesdays without the class? Oh, playing Rock Band or some shit. Vegging in front of the tv or pedaling an ellipse machine. In other words, the things a grownup life of privilege affords you. Not sitting in another fucking class which I have been doing with remarkable regularity since I was four. I have reached my limit...and I must go on.

Wherein The Author Takes Personal Pride In Her Extreme Density

Mr. W and I re-joined our old gym last weekend.  Life got in the way of workouts about seven years ago and it's just re-settled itself at a point where we can afford membership, both in time and money.

And first but not least - the dreaded body assessment.  They don't just weigh you or pinch your skin anymore.  They had a machine that measured my total non-fat mass, fat mass and liquid mass.  And as I've been saying for years...

my "ideal" BMI is 25 lbs. over the total weight of my non-fat mass, ie. my bones, blood, skin, hair & other organs plus 25 lbs. equals my "ideal" BMI.  If that was the case I'd be near death, trust me.  I've always known BMI was a total piece of crap - now I have my personal statistics to prove it.

And I have a piece of paper that officially tells the world I'm big-boned!

Woman, Caucasian, Easy to Please

Mr. W likes to make me smile.  He even says so.  When our dryer squeaked its last breath and refused to continue on, he spent most of his day off scouring the city for a new one. 

As with all our large purchases, we squeezed the Internet for research and reviews until we turned out a few item numbers that had the features I wanted at the right price.  Mr. W then spent his day off walking into appliance stores with these numbers, which confuses a lot of salespeople.  They are accustomed to having people show up scratching their heads (or worse), asking the salesperson to help, not having a clue.

No one stocks large appliances for quick sale anymore, so he was striking out all over until he found an extremely slightly-dented floor model on my list for $200 off. 

Before I started my research I didn't even know that Samsung made washers and dryers.  They are very highly reviewed and all that, and so far so good. But what REALLY makes me smile is this dryer's mood.

It is a happy Japanese appliance.  It sings a happy tune whenever you hit any button or turn the knob, which has lights that flash around the dial.  When the cycle is over and you open the door to get your stuff, an even sunnier tune plays.  I'm waiting for it to giggle.

Check Out Guitar George, She Knows All The Chords

I disappear into tasks.  I am the person to whom you give your massive time-sink of a job that no one wants - I'll do the hell out of it.  Filing?  Yes please!  Alpha or numerical?

Do you want to spend your long weekend editing the ID tags of your *entire* music collection?  I just did.  (The weather was shitty, mind.)  And put those album covers on, no matter how obscure.

At work I am using spare parts of the day to categorize a massive vendor contact file.

I became the essential employee at The Sporting Company when I read every.  Last.  Catalog.  You need me to find something out?  I'll find out ten things, and learn another language so I can find an eleventh in another country.

No one else in my family is like this.  Where does it come from?